I realized today (again) that my faith is a tad shy of “great.” Here is what made me realize that (again):
I was praying for God to do something amazing regarding this certain situation (Ok, the situation is this homeless/runaway youth shelter we’re working on) and I thought, “Oh, don’t expect too much so that way, if it doesn’t happen, you won’t be too disappointed.” Come on, I know we’ve all done it.
I said to myself, out loud, “Wow. You stink Mel. What kind of talk is that?” I was right… what kind of talk is that?
Then I started to think about why I would feel that way? Why would I feel God would “let me down”? I think because, for one, I’ve been let down so many countless times by countless people (who hasn’t right?) and the other reason being, I wondered if I was maybe not good enough for God to bless me with such an amazing thing (So, yeah, I’m STILL working on my self-worth. But anyway, when you get right down to it, who IS good enough right? That’s where GRACE comes in). Finally, I thought to myself, “What if this isn’t what God wants for me, then I won’t get it.” So it really had nothing to do with God failing me, or me not being “good enough” but it still did have something to do with not wanting to be let down.
Now, here’s the thing: I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE chocolate cake (the really moist, homemade kind), but what if I ordered it saying, “Can I please have a piece of that cake? But wait! Never mind because what if it’s not as good as I want it to be? Hmmm….” What if I never ordered cake again for fear of it not tasting good enough (alright, I have to say, if I never ordered it again maybe my hips and thighs would be smaller, but that’s not the point)… if I did that then I’d miss out on so much… life is just so much better with cake. I order cake, believe that it’s going to be amazing and if it’s not, it doesn’t make me hate cake, I just wait for the next time I get a chance to order it again and when I do, I believe it’s going to be the most awesome piece of cake ever!
Get my point?
We should pray with all that is within us, believing we’ll have what we’re asking for, if it’s within God’s will, and if we don’t get it, ok then, we don’t get it, but we keep on seeking, and praying, and asking until we get God’s very best.
What have you been afraid to ask God for?
